


Empty Arms

by Arithanas



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Misses Clause Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arithanas/pseuds/Arithanas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mourning is a private matter and even the fiercest are entitled to grieve the future that cannot be.</p><p>[Spoilers to the end of Season 1 Contains: grief and mourning]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sevendeadlyfun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevendeadlyfun/gifts).



> My appreciation to Moontyger, who did a terrific beta job.

Plague…

Damned plague…

Siggy still reeked of the damned disease, her body was battered and ambling around the hall was like moving through a desolate wasteland. Cries rose from every house; there was no house without a member in Helheim and Kattegat was still black with the soot of the pyres. How many deaths in so little time, just the fortunate went away and left the village, ignorant of their good luck and what awaits them the moment they return.

Those who expect a warm greeting for their homecoming are bound to find themselves with too many empty arms.

It was late, the moon barely shining among dark clouds, but Siggy needed it not. One by one the things she loved were taken from her and absence had been as welcome as their presence. Only the husk was left behind; the spirit lives beyond the grave and even more. That was what she believed, because if she didn’t do it that way, there was no purpose in her life.

She roamed the shore; it was better than turning around in an empty bed, without a warm body in which to hide her solitude and idle her time until this aching hulk gave in.

That particular night, her roaming was not as lonely as she expected.  Another figure wandered among the moored boats: a tall figure whose shoulders were slumped  like they bear the whole weight of the world on them. It was easy to divine the wife of the earl in that image of complete desolation.

“Lagertha?” Siggy was not sure if she was entitled to disturb her pain, but seeing her in bad shape was almost unnatural.

“Let me be, Siggy,” Lagertha said, her voice betraying those tears recently spent, “This night is for me only, and for my sorrow.”

“Not sure if it was a good choice.”

And she was earnestly concerned.

“I lost a daughter too…”

“But you must lose her, since you were the one to doom us all!”

The hatred in her voice, the lashing of her tongue as she spewed her vile was enough to make Siggy stumble backwards.

“That was rude!”

“No, it wasn’t. You were the first and yet the gods spare your life!”

“It was theirs to spare,” Siggy drew her mantle closer to her bosom. “There are moments when I wish they took me in her place.”

“I assure you, you are not the only one.”

“You didn’t strike me as a vengeful woman, Lagertha.”

That word seemed to pierce deep inside the bitter cloud that surrounded Lagertha and her mask flaked a little, showing that inside pain was still fresh.

“My Gyda was innocent and the plague robbed her everything when she was just blossoming…”

“My Thyri was young too...”

“With so much to live for... Barely a child, without a chance to ever been in battle and partook in the feast of the gods.”

“Just a young maiden, she never had the chance to carry babies of her own.”

“At least she got someone after her hand…”

“That pig was better gutted than over my Thyri!”

Lagertha raised an eyebrow in mocking disbelief

“Earl Bjarni seemed a fate worse than dead.”

“I suppose twenty pounds of silver were price enough for your Gyda.”

A solitary tear rode down Lagertha’s cheek, leaving behind a silver trail on her pale cheek.

“You won’t have enough gold and silver in ten raids to buy my girl …”

That was the primary characteristic of true grief; Siggy knew it well. It was a constant, dull, maddening pain, which occasionally rose like  Jörmungand from the sea and tore a little of yourself every time; there was no magic spell, no sacrifice that made the monster go away once it chose your heart as his home.

Siggy didn’t think; she just extended her arms, empty now that her last child had gone to the grave and surrounded Lagertha, trying to  shield her from her pain, though that would be as impossible as pretending to turn around the tide and the time. Lagertha let her do it and she laid her head on Siggy’s shoulder, fighting valiantly against the sobbing.

“I lost another child,” Lagertha gave voice to her pain in hushed tones.

“You make beautiful children, coveted by the gods…”

“The gods should find other children!”

“They are safe now.”

“I lost them forever.”

Siggy sighted and kissed Lagertha’s tears.

“They are not lost, both of your children are here, with you, and someday they will return.”

Lagertha shook her head in disbelief.

“You can’t get away from your Gyda, she was such a sweet child,” Siggy was being earnest in her praise, for Lagertha’s daughter was worthy of it. “She would never leave your side while you need her; you’ll see her in your house, in your work, in all the little things you two did together every day and in her brother, when he returns home.”

Late, Siggy noticed it was a mistake to mention Bjorn to his mother, since he was the last of her children and the one who was in far worse risk, being a man and son of the Jarl. Lagertha was still in her arms, but Siggy could notice her mind was already concocting the way to keep this last child safe.

“Thank you for your comfort,” Lagertha said; her eyes cried to the world and the gods that if they wanted to mess with her children, they better be ready to fight a battle.

Siggy bowed to that will. Maybe the idea of defying the gods was not very bright, but to see Lagertha’s spirit rise again was worth it.

“Anytime. Are you in the mood to be bothered with some practical troubles around the village?”

Lagertha squared her shoulders, like she was holding her shield high. It was good to see her again in spirit for a battle.

“Tell me about it while we walk to the hall.”

“Well, we have the issue of the boats…”


End file.
